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28 December 2015, 23:50   Report Abuse

Anoop Gupta

Vice President

[ Scorecard : 128]


Let me start this post by asking you a question. Have you come across moments in life, when your inner voice urged you to reflect upon your life experiences? Do you had any doubts during those moments that, may be your approach to life was not correct?


In all those situations when you failed on professional fronts, suffered in relationships, had set backs in achieving your goals; did you try to fix blame for the outcome on others.


Now try to recall those circumstances, when some other person was in a similar situation; and he was unwilling to accept his fault and was blaming others or circumstances for his failures, though you could clearly see the fault at his end.


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Isn’t it surprising? I am sure you all will be able to recall several such incidents. The reason is that when we have to assess ourselves, we get biased. However when we are observing others, we tend to behave very rationally.


If we really want to achieve success in our lives, we have to keep pushing our mind to continuously work towards Self Development.


So today, let’s try to figure out how the habit of blaming others is stopping us from achieving long lasting Success in our lives.


What is the meaning of blame?


The definition of blame says it all. Blame means “feel or declare that (someone or something) is responsible for a fault or wrong”.


If we become an expert in the art of blaming others, it becomes so easy for us to blame others for all the failures in life.


How we believe we are using blame game to our advantage?


We come across so many colleagues in office, who have mastered the art of blaming others. Instead of spending time on resolving issues, they prefer doing nothing because they are very good at diverting blame on their colleagues or on other departments.


Recently in politics, the main opposition party who has been stopping the Upper house to function from last two Parliament sessions is not ready to accept that their actions are resulting in delays in bringing new legislation there by slowing economic progress of the country.


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Instead they are reminding of instances when in the past, current ruling party also adopted similar strategies when they were in opposition. In this way, they are trying to justify their actions.


Similarly when it comes to Relationships, we see the one who is more powerful and adamant has his upper hand in most cases. And in this process he or she makes the other person suffer. And the sad part is that the one who is making others suffer never realizes his mistakes and the pains he is creating in the lives of others.


Instead he is armed with plenty of excuses to justify his acts and blaming the other persons for the problems.


Why do we have the habit of blaming everybody else except ourselves?


Whenever we are faced with a problem, our mind-set functions in such a manner that it tries to find someone or something whom we can blame for the problem.


The intention is neither to go into the real reasons of the problem nor to find an appropriate and everlasting solution to the problem.


The purpose is just to identify a culprit to blame him for the problem and to get yourself off the hook so that you are not perceived to be associated with the problem.


The aim is to avoid the pain associated with the problem by dissociating yourself from the problem.


What should be our response to the problems in life?


We are all human beings and we are bound to commit mistakes as we face fresh challenges in life.


Instead of finding excuses and blaming others for our mistakes, if we delve deeper into real cause of problems and find ways of dealing with the problems accordingly, we will become much more effective in overcoming problems.


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God wants us to face adverse circumstances, learn from our mistakes and grow in our lives. Challenges always come along with an opportunity to gain experiences in life.


I used to blame my problems on other people . But my moment of clarity, if you want to call it that, came when i was looking in the mirror one day and just burst into tears. It wasn’t just that i looked bad, it was that i knew my problem was me. By Tom Sizemore


So let’s do some introspection in our lives. We all have scope for improving our relationships with our dear ones. We have the power to fulfill all our dreams and achieve Success and Happiness in our lives. Let’s reduce the negativity which is caused by blaming circumstances and others for our failures.


Photo Credit : Ambro from

30 December 2015, 11:58  

kooveli madom

Independent Management Consultant, MBA Academic Support, Mentor, Tutor

[ Scorecard : 861]

You may like to also see 'Know your enemy within - It pays" by subramanian kv, available on kindle and

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